Smooth Saturday: Smoothpocalypse '84

Cheesy and totally lame. 1984, ladies and gentlemen.

This is probably what people have in mind when they think 'bad 80s adult contemporary.

Playlist of Fame

Maybe it's the rain, but I just had a brainstorm.

Why not make a Smart playlist in iTunes that adds every artist inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! What a brilliant idea! I should have thought of it sooner... maybe I did, but just didn't bother to do anything about it. Yes, that will be the official story.

Naturally, it's a huge list with some unnatural additions. There are definitely some kinks (not the band... or The Band) that need to be ironed out (not the Sabbath).

For example, the following songs that may not quite be "Hall of Fame" material:

Aerosmith - "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"
Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart - "All For One"
David Bowie & Mick Jagger - "Dancing in the Streets"
Any/all Elton John collaborations
Kenny G & Smokey Robinson - "Save the Best For Last"
Madonna - all of her songs
Michael Jackson & Akon - "Wanna Be Startin' Something 2008"
Joni Mitchell & Michael McDonald - "Good Friends"
Glass Tiger & Rod Stewart - "My Town"

I guess it's just proof that all awe-inspiring artists make terrible, horrible, no-good very bad music at some point... but there's simply no excuse for this pop atrocity:



Not only is it a totally unnecessary and frankly offensive cover version, the video is fucking terrible! I thought Bowie was relatively drug-free by the mid-80s, but this video suggests otherwise. By the end of the decade, the Thin White Duke was offering up thin white puke, in the form of "Fame '90". He must really have needed the money. Really, really needed the money. Why else would he slash and burn his first US #1? Don't forget this was after the massive train wreck that was 87-89. Never Let Me Down, Glass Spider, Tin Machine...

Yep, it all makes the "smart" playlist, even the unforgivable Hours.

Now... time to give this playlist a whirl! If only I could solve the Beatles bootlegs dilemma...

Relying on each other, ah ha

The other day I tuned in to The Hour just in time to see Canada's indie sweetheart Feist get the interrogation of a lifetime from Strombo.

Of course, the first thing I did when the commercial break hit was run over to the computer, bring up the Arts & Crafts website, and listen to "Islands in the Stream". Whoda thought one of the highest selling singles of all time would make such a great indie rock gem, and early candidate for song of the year?

Then it occurred to me that this isn't the first time that Feist has covered/ co-covered a #1 hit song written by the Bee Gees... yes, "Inside Out" was also a Gibb-penned classic!

The way things are going, the next Broken Social Scene album could have a cover of Frankie Valli's "Grease". If we're lucky.

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Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers - "Islands in the Stream"

NACDA

Dear Canadian leaders and bankers,

Thank you for your continued support of the North American Free Trade Agreement. This is, without question, the best strategy for getting Celine Dion albums distributed throughout the hemisphere.

Also, how's that plan going for preservin' Stompin' Tom's brain?

See you at the G8.

Matt

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From the James Cameron-produced behemoth Titanic, Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On".

As always, the following content is NSFW:

Friends... and lovers.

Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson served up an extra special helping of Ultra-cheeze with this 1986 soft-rock ballad, "Friends and Lovers". She was a soap star on Days of Our Lives... He was a Broadway veteran who also sang back up on one of the greatest albums of all time, Stevie Wonder's massive 1976 album, Songs In the Key of Life. It was a match made in heaven.

This is an American Bandstand performance. [Re-read sentence]
Too bad the person who uploaded the video didn't include the rest of the interview... I hate it when that happens. When Prince appeared, he mentioned that he could play over 100 instruments. I wonder how many instruments Carl and Gloria play.

The song was recently parodied on an episode of Family Guy. It was a very creepy sequence. Kind of like how you could never listen to "Singin' in the Rain" quite the same way after seeing Clockwork Orange.

Or, "Blowin' in the Wind" after Forrest Gump.

Or "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay" as sung by Michael Bolton. [NSFW]

A nostalgic tale for mustering a smile

Here's a lo-fi live rendition of a smooooth classic.



For full context, please see Episode 1 of Yacht Rock.

Playlist of the Century...er...

David Kravetz at Wired.com has been following the RIAA trial of a woman who downloaded a few songs from Kazaa. The woman has been ordered to pay up to the tune of over $222,000 (or, $9,250 per song). Score one for the bad guys.

This is the corporation who was awarded the dubious title of "Most Hated Corporation in America" last year, edging out Cheney's Halliburton.

The most interesting part of this whole thing is, of course... the playlist for which Jammie Thomas was liable!

*Guns N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle"; "November Rain"
*Vanessa Williams "Save the Best for Last"
*Janet Jackson "Let's Wait Awhile"
*Gloria Estefan "Here We Are"; "Coming Out of the Dark"; "Rhythm is Gonna Get You"
*Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"
*Journey "Faithfully"; "Don't Stop Believing"
*Sarah McLachlan "Possession"; "Building a Mystery"
*Aerosmith "Cryin'"
*Linkin Park "One Step Closer"
*Def Leppard "Pour Some Sugar on Me"
*Reba McEntire "One Honest Heart"
*Bryan Adams "Somebody"
*No Doubt "Bathwater"; "Hella Good"; "Different People"
*Sheryl Crow "Run Baby Run"
*Richard Marx "Now and Forever"
*Destiny's Child "Bills, Bills, Bills"
*Green Day "Basket Case"

The lesson here is obvious. If you're going to download music, simply avoid downloading songs that are remotely popular. This list contains four tracks that peaked at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 (Bills, Bills, Bills, Iris, Save the Best for Last, and Coming Out of the Dark), not to mention "Basket Case", which went to #1 on the Modern Rock chart, along with chart double-threat "Iris".

The ridiculousness of this situation is hard to overstate... it will do nothing but harm the RIAA's credibility in the eyes of the very people they're selling peddling their wares to. Certainly the RIAA intended to use this poor woman as an example, hoping to incite fear in their consumer base rather than concentrating on re-imagining their business models for the 21st century.

I wonder if anyone is willing to pay $92,500 for the new Radiohead album?

Young covers

There's an excellent feature article this week over at Stylus magazine, a thorough look at just about every Neil Young cover there is. What really caught my attention was the fact that Nicolette Larson's minor hit 'Lotta Love', is indeed, a Young cover. It turns out she was his backup singer. You learn something new every day.